I'd seen this poem on the web before several times, but when I saw it again the other day, now that I have a teenager myself, it took on a whole new life of its own! I laughed and thought, "This would be a great poem to share with all the moms out there!"
"Mean Old Mother!"
My daughter came
home from school one day,
With a smirk upon her face.
She
decided she was smart enough,
To put me in my place.
"'Guess
what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's
all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'"
It
says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one
can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have
freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have
to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear
earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read
& watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And
if you ever punish me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up
all my charges,
With whatever's on my mind.
Don't you ever
touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and
kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about
your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than
mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these
children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call
Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'
Mom's
Reply and Thoughts:
Of course my first
instinct was
To toss her out the door.
But the chance to teach
her a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over
carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
she's
messing with a pro.
Next day I took her shopping
At the
local Goodwill Store.
I told her, 'Pick out all you want,
there's
shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D
....
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead
of those Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take
your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide
what's best. '
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up
stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your
own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till
dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of
mine.'
She asked, 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my
VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The
C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing
won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance
that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check
out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey
hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you
asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D...?'
MOM (Mean Old Mother)
"Mean Old Mother!"
My daughter came
home from school one day,
With a smirk upon her face.
She
decided she was smart enough,
To put me in my place.
"'Guess
what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's
all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'"
It
says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one
can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have
freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have
to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear
earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read
& watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And
if you ever punish me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up
all my charges,
With whatever's on my mind.
Don't you ever
touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and
kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about
your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than
mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these
children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call
Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'
Mom's
Reply and Thoughts:
Of course my first
instinct was
To toss her out the door.
But the chance to teach
her a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over
carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
she's
messing with a pro.
Next day I took her shopping
At the
local Goodwill Store.
I told her, 'Pick out all you want,
there's
shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D
....
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead
of those Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take
your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide
what's best. '
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up
stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your
own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till
dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of
mine.'
She asked, 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my
VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The
C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing
won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance
that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check
out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey
hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you
asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D...?'
MOM (Mean Old Mother)
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